The crowd went wild then, throwing their fists in the air and screaming as the music picked up. They all began to dance. From my previous years here, and the sight of many lifted beer mugs, I knew that at least half the crowd was already drunk, but that didn’t matter. My people were happy, and that made me happy.
Kade and I both turned then and made our way across to our thrones. Just before I took my seat in the high-backed, jeweled piece, I turned to Kade and looked him dead in the eyes.
“Yes, I’m happy.” Right now, in this moment. I wasn’t sure if I’d just lied to Kade, or to Calista earlier.
The bear king’s eyes turned dark as he nodded. It must have been the wrong thing to say, because over the next hour we drank, ate, watched dancing and fire throwing, and Kade uttered not one more word to me. Finally, when the sun had long set in the sky and it was dark, he turned to me. His stare was … it was dark. And a part of me broke as I returned that gaze, helpless to tear myself away.
“What?” I finally managed to ask.
He reached out as if he was going to touch me. His huge hand stilled inches from my face, and I was struggling to breathe, struggling not to sob. Emotions were ricocheting through me, and I knew everything was about to change. I could feel it in the ache that had spread all the way into my soul.
His voice rumbled out. “I’m not happy.”
Then he stood and walked off the stage, making his way through the drunken partying crowd. I was frozen to my seat, my hands clenched at my sides while I tried to pull myself together. How could he do this to me? At the summer festival where every eye was on us. Why wait until now to burst the bubble on the “just friends” world we were living in?
I stood, angry that he had this effect on me and that he thought it was okay to leave me up here alone. I mentally called for Finn, and as soon as he made his way to the stage, I got onto his back again.
I ran my hands across his fur. Can you follow Kade’s scent? I need to speak with him.
No problem. One moody king coming right up. Finn took off into the crowd, and I forced myself to wave and smile, all the while both fuming and dying inside.
If I’d been in wolf form I’d have been able to follow Kade myself, but there were way too many wolves and bears here for my human nose to differentiate smells. As we made our way to the outer parts of the crowd, Finn turned in a familiar direction and I knew where we were going.
The king had gone to the abandoned cabin beyond the cherry grove, the place of our first kiss. When we were almost to the cabin, I hopped off Finn.
Wait here for me, buddy, I said, leaning down to kiss him on the nose. I shouldn’t be long.
Go speak with the king. It’s been a long time coming. I’ll keep watch here.
I sent my familiar an exaggerated glare. Anyone would think you’re on Kade’s side.
He butted his head up against my side. Never. Always yours. But you deserve happiness.
If only it were that easy. I patted him one last time and walked the rest of the way through the trees to the alcove. I saw no shifters, but laughter, music, and voices could be heard behind me. The party was in full swing and there would be some growly shifters come tomorrow morning.
Once I broke into the clearing, I saw the king’s massive form sitting on a flat rock, the same rock I had been sketching on when we first met. I swallowed hard and decided I needed to get to the bottom of this. Soft emotions were what made you weak, so instead I went for anger. Anger would get me through this.
“What do you think you’re doing, leaving the party? We’re here to show our people unity and you just bail on me?” When he spun to face me I could see he was also angry; he stalked toward me so fast I almost took a step back from him.
His eyes were burning as they nailed me with a glare. “You expect me to sit around and watch you take a mate and just act like everything is fine?” His voice could cut glass and his question shocked me. I had no reply. This entire time I didn’t realize how much that had hurt him; it was almost as if I could feel his pain through the mecca, to which we were both connected.
“Kade…”
“Don’t, Ari! You made your choice, but that doesn’t mean I have to sit by and watch you live through it.”
The tears came then. Dammit! Damn this bear and all of his charm. Why did he have to be the king? Why was I the queen? For a second I wished we were just those two fifteen year olds again. Where the only thing holding us back was the fact our parents would kick our butts for slumming it with the enemy.
Lifting my head, I said as calmly as I could: “Sometimes I think I hate you.” Glitter-coated tears fell down my face. I wasn’t bothering to hold them back. I couldn’t if I tried.
Kade’s big body looked frozen, but his eyes were heating up like fiery coals. When he didn’t respond, some of my calm fell and the hot pierce of anger had me charging closer to him.
“Did you hear me? I hate that you kissed me when I was fifteen! A kiss I haven’t been able to get out of my head for five years! I hate that you kissed me again in your garden. I hate that you’re so sweet and loyal and kind. I hate that we can’t be together! I hate all of it, Kade!” My fists were balled now and I had completely broken down all of my walls.
Still he was silent as he stepped closer to me, eating up the distance between us until his body was pressed up against mine. When there was no more space between us, when I could hardly breathe because Kade was doing that thing where he stole all the oxygen from around me, he leaned in and whispered, “I love you.”