“I give him full permission to dig into my family background,” I said. “Just as long as he promises not to laugh at my more colorful relatives.”
“I’ll ask Agent Hayashi to look into it as soon as possible.” Moreau paused. “I have been unable to contact Rake Danescu to ask of any effects he may have experienced. I’ve left two messages, but he has yet to return my calls. He may be more willing to answer the question if it came from you in person.”
“What makes you think I’ll be seeing him?”
“Your lunch date was interrupted.”
“He wanted to reschedule for lunch today or dinner last night. But that got nixed by a squid demon and a possible concussion.” I decided not to mention the flowers I found on my bedside table this morning. Moreau probably knew, but if he didn’t, I really didn’t want to bring it up. “Are you visiting my desk because of Rake? Because if—”
My manager held up an elegant hand. “It is not about Monsieur Danescu. I will admit to having concerns, but after speaking with Madame Sagadraco, she and I are in agreement.”
I gave him a small smile. “That I’m a big girl and can take care of myself.”
“That and while Rake Danescu may be many things, he has never been foolish.” He narrowed his eyes very faintly. “Do I need to explain that statement?”
My smile broadened into a grin. “Oh no, sir. I got it loud and clear. And I think Rake probably has, too. He behaves or there’ll be a line to kick his ass, and you and Ms. Sagadraco will be near the front. Though Agent Byrne might want to argue for the right of first in line.”
“No doubt. I wanted to speak with you concerning your satisfaction with your employment here.”
I tensed. “Are you or Ms. Sagadraco not satisfied with my employment here?”
“I assure you we are most satisfied with your job performance. The question is how you feel about your job. I imagine it has turned out differently than you envisioned.”
“Yes, it has.” I thought back to the events of the past week. “I try my best to stay out of trouble. Problem is trouble keeps finding me.”
“That is part of our concern. I encourage those who report to me not to hesitate to tell me if parts of their job are distressing to them. You haven’t requested a meeting.”
“Anything that’s happened has pretty much fallen under my job description. More or less.”
“On New Year’s Eve, you chased down a fully grown grendel in a crowd of nearly a million people.”
“I was the only one who could see her.”
“A human without defensive magical powers taking on a monster out of legend bare-handed.”
“I was the only agent there. I couldn’t just let her start eating people.”
“But it was not your job. It was far beyond what anyone would have expected or demanded of you.”
“I had to do it.”
“And last week with Agent Byrne, Yasha Kazikov, and Rake Danescu. You didn’t have to go to that island to take on Bastian du Beckett and prevent those diamonds from being activated.”
“Ben Sadler was being held prisoner. I felt responsible for him. Then there was Yasha, you, Ms. Sagadraco, and every supernatural in SPI. None of you are just coworkers; you’ve become like family.” I said it without one bit of embarrassment. “If there was some way I could help, I was going to do it.”
“And you have not sought me out to lodge a complaint about your life being in danger beyond what you were hired to do.”
“I don’t mean any disrespect, sir, nor am I trying to be rude, but you’re getting at something. What is it?”
“Have you at any point during your employment with us considered turning in your resignation?”
“Not seriously.”
“And why is that? Through no fault of your own, you’ve nearly lost your life on numerous occasions. Other times you have purposefully placed yourself in harm’s way.”
“I don’t think I’m a danger junkie, sir, if that’s what you’re getting at.”
“I don’t think that you are.” His gaze searched my face. “Why do you do it, Makenna?”
I suddenly knew the answer without having to think about it. I pressed my lips together not only against a tiny smile, but against the sudden sting of tears in my eyes.
“I feel needed. Sometimes I screw up, but I know what I’m doing is worthwhile. I can’t imagine not doing it. I love my job.”
Moreau stood. “That’s all I needed to know. If that ever changes, I trust you will inform me.”
“Absolutely, sir.”
“Then I’ll let you get back to work.”
“Thank you, sir.”
Moreau headed for the elevators, and I realized my teeth were clenched in a smile that’d probably scare small children.
The silence of the agents in the bull pen behind me was absolute.
I turned slowly and was met with dozens of pairs of curious eyes: human, elf, goblin, troll, gnome . . .
“I’m still here,” I said loudly. When that didn’t make them stop staring, I gave a double thumbs-up for emphasis.
At that, everyone returned to what they’d been doing, and the noise levels returned to normal.
I sat down with a sigh. Nothing about this place was normal.
16
I’D barely gotten started digging for an answer to a question that’d been nagging me, when I heard the click of Kylie O’Hara’s stiletto heels coming toward my desk. I’d never seen her in heels lower than four inches. She was pretty much five foot nothing, and while human women of her height would have worn heels for added height regardless of the excruciating pain, Kylie wore them because they were fun.