“I’m not going anywhere. Besides, hell is when you and I are at our best.”
I stopped and looked at him.
“You know where my line is,” he said.
I knew. We had both drawn them. If he ever pulled another stunt like he did at the Black Sea, pretending to be interested in another woman because he was trying to “keep me safe,” I was done. And if I ever made another Julie by letting my blood burn away another person’s will, he was done. He drew the line at slavery. That was a reasonable line.
I walked into the bathroom and started the water in the tub.
He stopped in the doorway, leaning against it, his arms crossed.
I tossed some Epsom salts into the bathtub. “I’m not sure if I will even be me at the end of it.”
A warm hand rested on my back. He’d snuck up behind me.
I straightened. His arm caught my waist, pinning me to him.
“I’ll be here,” he said. “I’ll fight for you. We’ll beat this. We’ve beaten everything else.”
Doolittle once told me that he wasn’t afraid of me. He was afraid of what I might become in spite of myself. His fears were coming true.
“Power is a drug,” Curran said. “Some people try it and can’t wait to stop. Other people take it and want more and more, until nothing is left except getting more power.”
“You know that’s not me.”
“I know. You’re the least power-hungry person I’ve ever met. You’re also the most stubborn person I’ve ever met. Disrespectful. Mouthy.”
“You mean independent and proactive in taking initiative.”
“That, too. Also infuriating. And strong. You won’t let anyone take your freedom, Kate.”
He was right. I was damned if I would let magic dictate what I did or thought.
Curran had power. He had hundreds of people who waited with bated breath for him to tell them to do something, and he had walked away from it—for me. It could be done. He’d done it. I had to fight this one decision at a time.
It wouldn’t change me. It wouldn’t rule me. Not happening.
“Were you tempted, Your Furriness?” I asked.
“By your evil?” His voice was a hot, deep whisper near my ear.
“Yes.”
“No. If you and I ruled forever, I would never have you all to myself. We tried that, remember?”
“So you’re greedy?”
His voice raised the tiny hairs on the back of my neck. “You have no idea.”
I was playing with fire. “How greedy are you?”
He spun me around, his eyes full of gold sparks and predatory excitement. “Let me show you.”
We made it to the tub eventually. It took a lot longer than planned.
Chapter 6
IT WAS MORNING and I came downstairs because Barabas was at the front door and Curran was in the shower.
“Kate,” he said. “Good morning.”
“Good morning.” I held the door open.
He walked in and followed me to the kitchen
“Tea?” I asked. Peace offering.
“Yes, please.”
“Earl Grey, mint, chamomile . . .”
“Chamomile.”
I walked to the kitchen island, pulled a tin labeled TENSION TAMER off the shelf, and spooned some loose tea into a diffuser. Apparently his tension was in need of taming. This conversation would suck.
Silence stretched.
“Where is Christopher?” Kate Daniels, the ice breaker.
“Asleep in the hammock on the porch. He had a rough couple of days.”
“Julie said he burned Bullfinch’s Mythology.”
Barabas sighed. “I bought a beautiful leather-bound edition for his birthday and hid it in the closet in the spare room. He found it yesterday as I was about to leave. I went to say good-bye and found him burning it in the fire pit outside.”
So not only had he burned a book, he’d burned the book Barabas bought him. Of all the people Christopher cared about, Barabas was the most important. I was a distant second.
“Did he say why he burned it?”
Barabas shook his head. “He stayed with it until it was ash, pacing back and forth around the fire pit. When it was gone, he got a blanket off the couch, lay in the hammock, and covered his head. He didn’t even take Maggie with him. She was crying by his hammock until I put her with him. He got up in the afternoon to go meditate with you and then went back into the hammock. He’s been withdrawn since then.”
“I’m sorry,” I told him.
“I can’t figure it out. Was it something about the binding? He has other books bound in leather.”
“Maybe he didn’t like one of the myths.”
Barabas sighed. “Sometimes I wish I could open his head and fiddle with his brain to put it back the way it needs to be.”
I poured water into our teacups and pushed honey toward him.
Beating around the bush any longer would just waste his and my time. “I was rude to you yesterday. I’m sorry. I’m trying to stay myself, but it’s been difficult lately.”
“Apology accepted,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry, too. I know you’re under a lot of pressure. And you’re right, I wasn’t there.”
Well, this wasn’t awkward. Not at all. I stared into my tea.
“Do you know why I left the Pack?” Barabas asked.
“No.” I never understood it. He had so much going for him there. Jezebel seemed absorbed in keeping track of Julie and guarding my back. She threw herself into it. Barabas, however, ended up running the Pack’s legal department. He was viewed as the Beast Lord’s personal lawyer. He didn’t have the longest tenure or the most experience, but people deferred to him anyway.