“Keep everyone safe while they let loose for a little while. Show them that they can let loose.”
“So we run and we play?”
“The flip side of banding together for protection and survival. Another benefit of social structure.”
It sounded better than she’d expected, like coming home to a place where she belonged, with people who understood her. After a lifetime of judiciously editing the truth about her family and her childhood, it sounded like freedom.
“You haven’t had any of that.” Eden stopped short of the steps leading up to the wrap-around porch and peered at Jay. “Was it hard, living without it?”
He looked away for a moment before finally meeting her eyes. “It’s harder and it’s easier. Hard to have to keep to yourself all the time, hide the reality of who and what you are. But being with other wolves—unless they’re absolutely, without a doubt, the right ones… It’s impossible to make it work without everyone understanding what’s right, what their place is and accepting that.”
Zack hadn’t been the only one to avoid the gathering at the fire last night. “Fletcher can’t stay, can he? He won’t fit.”
A flash of pain clouded Jay’s eyes. “No, we’ve been through it before. Eventually, he’ll have to go.”
Eden smoothed her hand over his cheek, protectiveness blooming inside her until it overtook the itch of the moon. “I’m sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry about. It just is.”
It felt a little bit like a warning, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to ask. She was too afraid the conversation would lead to Zack. Broken Zack, who couldn’t survive the way he was, but might not fit if he became whole again. “It doesn’t matter today,” she said, half-begging him to agree.
He shook his head as he pulled her up the steps. “No, not today.”
Breakfast turned into brunch, which gave way to lunch without much pause. Everyone seemed as energized as Eden felt, and barely restrained energy apparently translated to boundless hunger in werewolves.
Someone had thrown the kitchen doors open to the autumn sun. Eden poured sweet tea into an ice-filled mason jar and watched through the window as Kaley tackled Colin, rolled, and came up with the football clutched triumphantly in one hand.
“How long has he known Colin?” Lorelei asked. “Jay, obviously.”
“Over a decade.” Eden bit back a smile as Colin grumbled, his dangerous edge muted by the good-natured humor in his eyes. Mae might still be wary, but Colin’s grumpy-older-brother routine had worked its magic on Kaley.
“They’ve all been friends a long time,” Eden continued, turning to face Lorelei. “Colin travels a lot, from what I’ve gathered. This is the first time he’s stayed still in a while.”
“I’ve heard of him. What he does, I mean.” Lorelei finished slicing a lemon and dropped the whole thing in the tea pitcher.
“Then you may know more than me. Jay only told me that Colin used to deal with corrupt alphas.” Deal with was such a sterile way of putting it, but it was hard to reconcile the man playing football in the back yard with a trail of vigilante killings that had started before Eden had graduated from college.
“They call them enforcers. They can work for alphas as part of a pack, or they can strike out on their own.” Lorelei flashed her an apologetic look. “I’ve been picking Shane’s brain—and borrowing his laptop. There’s too much I don’t know, and that’s unacceptable.”
An idea Eden needed to steal. “We should start a study group. I’ve asked Jay most of my questions, but I’m still struggling to understand the basic stuff. What everything I’m feeling means, when it’s going to get better…”
“It couldn’t hurt for everyone to learn. Our experiences—” She broke off and looked away. “Zack tried, but it was obvious he hadn’t had the easiest or best time of it, either.”
No, he couldn’t have, even being born to the life. “I don’t know how much his mother taught him before she disappeared. It must have been hard for him, though. There was no one here who understood.”
Lorelei laid a hand on Eden’s shoulder. “He’s going to be okay. Once he gets used to not being scared.”
“I know.” Eden reached for Lorelei’s hand, and hope surged when the other woman didn’t pull away. “How are you doing? You’re the one holding everyone else together.”
“It seems worse than it is. There have been a lot of good times, and we all lean on each other.”
It was beyond stupid to feel a stab of longing, but everyone at Green Pines had history. Stories. Jay and his friends, Zack and his pack. Eden squeezed Lorelei’s hand lightly before turning to retrieve her tea. “Tell me a story about a good time. About Zack.”
“Zack?” She leaned against the counter and crossed her arms over her chest. “He lets Kaley and Mae get away with anything. One time, we were hanging out in this bar in Riverside, and the girls were at the pool table. These guys came up, thinking they’d be easy marks, so Kaley and Mae started hustling them. Pretty soon, the guys were five hundred bucks in the hole and mad as hell.”
Eden could picture it all too easily—Kaley’s farm-girl cheerfulness, and Mae with her dreamy artist demeanor. They’d be able to coast on cute smiles and “beginner’s luck” long enough to get rich. “I can guess how Zack features into this.”
“Mmm, growled until the guys paid up and made sure the situation didn’t get ugly.” Lorelei caught Eden’s gaze. “But that’s what he does—what he did. People look at Zack and think he gets off on violence, but I’ve only seen him try anything and everything to avoid it.”
It was the way Eden had remembered him too. “You know him better than I do. I think he has trouble looking at me sometimes. He knew me as a scrawny, angry ten-year-old.”
“Maybe. But you’re not that anymore.”
“Eventually he’ll notice.” Eden smiled and poked the generous curve of her hip. “Not scrawny, and not ten. I still have a temper, though, and I’m not sure becoming a werewolf has helped that.”
“Yeah, well, what are you gonna do?” Lorelei shrugged and nodded toward the open back door. “When in doubt, play football.”
Football wouldn’t scratch the itch. Eden took a long sip of her tea before checking the clock above the sink. “Do we usually wait until sunset before we do the…wolf stuff?”
“Change? It’s safer most places, I guess. The call doesn’t get too overwhelming until later, when the moon is really high and bright…” Lorelei trailed off, an almost wistful expression overtaking her features.
“The call. Is that what this is? It’s the oddest feeling.” Her cheeks heated as she rubbed a hand over her arm. “And I get really confused when I’m around Jay. That’s why I’m not playing football.”
Lorelei wrinkled her nose with a soft chuckle. “Confused? Really?”
Eden groaned and covered her eyes. “Okay, how crazy I get is the confusing part. I’m not used to being so—so unrestrained.”
“Uh-huh. I’m sure you’ll make out okay.”
“So there aren’t any surprises I need to know about? Any weird werewolf sex stuff my new boyfriend forgot to tell me?”
Lorelei blinked at her. “I’m a werewolf and I have sex, but I’m not sure that makes me an expert on the subject.”
Maybe her lack of friends had nothing to do with the dark secrets of her childhood. Maybe she was just socially hopeless. “I don’t need a sex expert. I need—”
Colin cleared his throat loudly from the doorway, causing Eden to start. “I don’t know where that sentence is going,” he said, his lips twitching as if he was fighting a smile, “but I figured you’d want to know I was here before you finished it.”
Lorelei tilted her head and regarded him thoughtfully. “Women have sex. Women like sex. That can’t be a foreign concept for a man like you.”
Both of Colin’s eyebrows swept up as he crossed his arms over his solid chest, his gaze fixed on Lorelei with such intent focus that Eden felt like a piece of kitchen furniture. “And what sort of man is that?” he asked softly.
“You’re the goddamn Batman.” She smiled. “I thought you knew.”
Colin stared at her like he couldn’t quite believe—or understand—what she’d just said. No amount of self-control could save Eden. She slapped her hand over her mouth and tried—tried to hold back laughter.
It bubbled up even stronger when Colin shot her a disgruntled look. “Jay wanted me to tell you both that it’s almost time to go running. We’re going to clear out early so Stella can get to work on the soundproofing wards.”
He looked so perplexed, like he wasn’t used to being laughed at by women. With those dark, brooding eyes and his bad-boy vibe, he probably wasn’t. Eden tried to have a care for his manly ego as she choked back her giggles and nodded solemnly. “Thank you, Colin.”
Lorelei blinked innocently as he watched them both with an expression caught between grumpy and wary, but when he turned to go, her gaze swept over him, all traces of humor gone. “He needs someone to loosen him up.”
Colin hesitated for a heartbeat before muttering something under his breath. He disappeared out the door, and Eden listened to his boots clomp across the porch. Irritation, but no real temper. The weaker wolves were safe with Colin, even if they did poke at his ego.
But Lorelei was watching him storm away like she couldn’t tear her gaze from his ass, which reminded Eden of a different sort of safety the women were guaranteed. “Jay made it pretty clear to all of them that there was to be no…loosening up. At least not before y’all are settled and the bad stuff is long behind us.”
“Did he? Interesting.”