She was an expert in the hidden problems. Not just an expert, but a conspirator in keeping them hidden, a thought grim enough to drive her off the couch in search of a distraction. “Can I help with anything?”
“Salad?” He gestured to the counter beside him, and his voice softened. “I looked at the reports, Eden. The paperwork on the complaints and investigations. It’s all pretty clear, especially if you know why they never found any evidence of injuries on your cousin.”
Eden froze halfway to the kitchen, her first reaction one of overwhelming, irrational panic. Anger followed hard on its heels, an outraged sense of betrayal and exposure. “You looked at my family’s records?”
“I did,” he said evenly.
She bit back her gut response. You had no right. He was putting his life and his reputation on the line to clean up her family’s mess. Of course he had the right. But it didn’t make her feel any less na**d. All the lies, all the practice putting on a bright smile and pretending everything was okay—gone. Swept away in the space of a heartbeat.
He knew.
Anxiety prickled over her skin. “You could have asked me,” she managed finally, rasping words that sounded so wounded to her own ears. “I would have told you.” Those words sounded like a lie.
“I think you would have wanted to,” he countered. “But old habits die hard. Trust me, I know.”
Yes, they did. She laughed, short and bitter. “Yeah. I have a history of lying to the authorities about the subject, don’t I?”
“That isn’t what I mean. You were a kid, Eden.”
She had to open her eyes. Face her shame, face the too-strong wolf who felt like an enemy right now. “I was a kid who knew what was happening, and I lied. I lied for years, and Zack’s sorry excuse for a father beat the skin off his back more nights than not.”
Jay abandoned the marinade and held his arms open. “Come here.”
She wanted to. God, she wanted to. His embrace looked like safety and comfort rolled into one, but her feet were rooted in place, her entire body tensed to give in to the wolf and flee. “I don’t know if I can.”
He dropped his arms with a nod. “I could tell you the rest of my secrets, if it helps.”
“You don’t understand.” She wiggled her fingers and rocked forward, testing the wolf’s resolve. Her conflicting emotions only ratcheted the pressure higher. “I want to come there. I just…think I’m about to bolt.”
“I know, but I’m not about to push you.”
She snarled before she could stop herself, hot temper rising as fast as it had in the library. “This would be easier if you weren’t so f**king honorable.”
His lips twitched, and he cleared his throat. “You want me to take charge,” he murmured, a thread of steel creeping into his voice. “And I will. When I know you’re not just rolling over under me because you don’t know anything else to do.”
In a heartbeat, she crowded into his space, pressed close with a challenging growl. “Rolling under you is not my first instinct right now.” Climbing him like a tree and riding him to the floor, on the other hand…
He slid his fingers into her hair again. “Do you know why you like this, honey? It’s the control. You think you want it, but you don’t. Just the fight. You still want me to win.”
The words resonated, but she wasn’t about to admit as much. “That doesn’t sound very progressive of me. Don’t werewolves get to have feminist pride?”
“Who said you aren’t proud?” His gaze warmed as it traveled over her face. “You’re amazing, Eden. After what happened to you, you could have given up. But you came up fighting instead.”
She’d been joking, but the sincerity in his words made her self-conscious. Dropping her gaze, she traced a finger along the neckline of his T-shirt. “Maybe that’s just luck. Whatever made me turn early and made me a powerful wolf. If it wouldn’t hurt more, I think I’d still be whimpering under your bed.”
The pulse throbbing at the base of his throat sped at her touch. “Hiding? Not you, no way.”
“You’d be surprised.” Edging her finger up a fraction allowed her to touch skin, and she hissed out a breath and jerked away as desire jolted through her. “Would you have asked me out if you’d known I knew about werewolves? Or is this all just because I am one now?”
“I would’ve.” He smoothed his hands down to her shoulders. “I wasn’t about to start something based on a lie, that’s all.”
That was how every relationship in her life had felt. “It’s not easy. Even when the lie’s not yours.”
“Doesn’t matter now.” He stepped closer, looming over her. “Nothing else to hide.”
Her insides were melting. She’d screwed around with enough guys in college to know she’d like giving up control to him when the time came—
When the time came. “Is this the part where you handcuff me to something?”
He bent his head and kissed her, his tongue edging her lips apart as soon as his mouth met hers. Nothing tentative this time, just an unrelenting kiss, deep and a little rough, and she rocked up on her toes and shoved her fingers into his hair to drag him closer.
His tongue slid over hers, and a moan vibrated deep in his chest. Only a moment later, he broke the kiss and rested his forehead on hers. “This…is where we have dinner.”
The world was still spinning in lazy circles, but all the built-up tension had vanished. “How do you keep doing that?” she whispered. “She twists up inside me until I think I’m going to pop, and you make it all go away with a kiss.”
“Don’t know.” A low chuckle escaped him. “Talent?”
“Maybe.” She rubbed her cheek against his. “I don’t know werewolf rules, but if we’re not having a—a thing here, you’d better tell me now. I’m feeling territorial.”
“Dinner,” he said again, firmly this time. “The rest is up to us.”
It wasn’t enough of an answer to satisfy her, but it didn’t look like she’d be getting a better one. Biting back a sigh, she stepped away. “You said you wanted me to make a salad?”
“Unless you want to go strictly carnivore tonight.”
“That is uncomfortably appealing.”
He grinned. “Do we dare?”
The smile was infectious. Eden laughed as she rolled up her sleeves to wash her hands. “No. I need something to do while you’re burning meat.”
Jay clucked his tongue and shook his head. “Always a good girl, huh?”
“Don’t taunt me, Chief Ancheta.” She lowered her voice to a husky promise. “I might decide to try my hand at na**d cooking.”
He passed her a bamboo cutting board and pulled a knife free of the block. “Sounds kinky.”
“Maybe I am kinky.” She eyed the knife with a grin. “Not that kinky. But I do work in the building with all the books, even dirty ones. Good luck shocking me.”
“I wouldn’t dream of trying, Ms. Green. Not for a moment.”
Jay woke with a start. He watched the ceiling fan turn slow revolutions above him, every sense on high alert.
In his bedroom, Eden whimpered, a sound cut short by a sharp gasp. He shot off the couch, kicking away the blanket that tangled around his legs.
She was staring at the ceiling, wet lines of tears tracking down her face to disappear in the damp hair at her temples. Jay knelt by the bed. “Eden? What happened?”
She wiped at her cheeks with trembling hands. “Nothing. Just…dreams.”
Nightmares. “What do you need?”
“I was going to turn the lights on, but I guess I don’t need them anymore.” She reached for him with one hand. “You were right. I can see in the dark.”
“It takes some getting used to.” He tucked her hand between his. “Family stuff?”
Eden wiped at her cheek again with a watery little laugh. “I guess that’s where it all comes from, but it’s never that clear. I don’t dream about the past. Just about the farm. Being trapped there with ghosts or serial killers or monsters…”
And he’d brought it all to the surface, poking around in the shreds of her past. “You have a chance to reclaim that place now. Turn it into something good instead of what you remember.”
She just stared at him. “Do you believe in ghosts?”
He believed in echoes, the kinds that followed people no matter where they went. “I think we can be haunted by things, yes. By the past.”
“I always thought the farm was haunted.” She rolled to her side and reached for him with her other hand. “The whole pack has so much to be haunted by. I hope there’s room in the house for all the new ghosts.”
Jay hesitated, then crawled onto the bed and curled up behind her. “There’s no ghosts, honey. Just pain, and that fades in time.”
Her wolf’s power seethed just beneath her skin, wounded and wary, but Eden squirmed back against Jay in silent acceptance of his protection. “You never told me your secrets.”
No, he hadn’t, and now he found himself more reluctant to do so than ever before. More ghosts, more pain. “When I said I understand what you went through, watching what happened to Zack, it wasn’t entirely true. To be honest, I’m more familiar with his side of the whole equation.”
She twined their fingers together. “I’m sorry.”
“Not your fault.” The words came automatically, a reassurance he couldn’t help but offer. “I’m glad Zack had your mom and dad, not to mention you. Family who cared.”
Eden rolled over and stared up at him. “He made me promise never to tell. Made me swear when I was so young I can’t even remember doing it. And he was my hero, my protector. I think I would have told any lie he wanted me to.”