She had no idea how much of her sudden interest showed on her face as she carefully pulled her hands away. “Okay. Thanks, Joe.”
“You’re welcome. Now hurry up. I think I hear your sister and Keith.”
There wasn’t much she could do about the puffiness of her eyes, but she spent a few minutes in Joe’s bathroom rinsing her face with cool water as she gathered the tattered remains of her emotions. If Keith and Abby were already back, it meant they’d made a decision. One they’d expect her to go along with without argument. They’d probably decided to pack her up and send her to stay with her brother. Hell, Abby had probably already called him and made the arrangements.
But she had to stay calm. Pitching a fit might be satisfying, but it was the last thing that would convince Keith and Abby that she could make her own decisions. Neither would recognize she’d been handling things on her own for six years now. Abby, with her vast five-year age advantage, would always remember Brynn as the fourteen-year-old girl she’d been forced to care for after their parents’ deaths.
Brynn held on to the edge of countertop and studied her face in the mirror. It didn’t help that she looked young. Almost twenty-five, but she still got carded trying to buy wine. The red eyes and scratches on her face wouldn’t calm Abby, either. Young and hurt, two things guaranteed to get her sister’s back up…and two things she couldn’t do a damn thing to change.
Calm and reasonable, she reminded herself as she reached for the bathroom door. Maybe Keith and Abby would actually ask her input, instead of laying down the law. Maybe she wasn’t giving them enough credit. Or maybe I’m giving them too much.
She knew something was wrong when she stepped into the living room and found not only Abby and Keith, but Gavin and Samantha as well. The alphas looked serious. Keith looked enraged. And Abby…
Abby looked crushed.
Joe walked over as soon as Brynn came in and laid his hand on her arm. “Come and sit down.”
He coaxed her in the direction of the couch, but she stumbled, unable to pull her gaze from her sister’s face. “Oh God, what happened? Tell me, Abby.”
“It’s Richard,” she whispered, her voice thick with tears. “Richard’s dead.”
Their brother, the one everyone had assumed would keep her safe. Some part of her had known the minute she’d seen her sister’s face. Alan Matthews wanted to punish Abby, and he’d done it by putting her family in danger. Only he’d learned from kidnapping Brynn. He hadn’t given anyone a chance to save Richard. It was vengeance, pure and simple.
Brynn was too numb to cry, even as her legs gave out and Joe lowered her to the couch. Richard was dead. I will never be safe.
“We tried to call him,” Gavin said quietly. “Turns out, his roommate had been trying to get in touch with you and Abby. It—it was quick.”
Abby made a small noise and pressed her face to Keith’s chest. Brynn felt the heavy weight of Joe’s hand on her shoulder.
She ignored him, and ignored Keith when he tried to catch her gaze. Her eyes met Gavin’s, and she saw compassion and sympathy there. It gave her the courage to speak. “I need to talk to you. Alone.”
“Right this second?” There was an unusual awareness in his dark gaze, and it occurred to Brynn that he already knew what she would ask.
Brynn glanced at Abby, taking in the dejected slump of her trembling shoulders. Abby was strong, but that only made this worse. She’d blame herself for Richard’s death. She already blamed herself for Brynn’s kidnapping.
If I become a werewolf… She looked back at Gavin and shook her head. “Not this second. But…soon.”
“Tomorrow,” he said, holding out a hand to Abby. “Is there anything we can do?”
Abby said nothing, so it was Brynn who answered. “No, but thank you.”
The door closed softly, leaving them in uncomfortable silence broken only by Abby’s quiet tears.
Brynn wanted to cross the room to her sister, but her legs wouldn’t obey. There was no comfort she could give Abby that Keith wasn’t more prepared to offer.
Still, she had to try. “Abby…”
Her sister curled closer to Keith, and the wordless sound she made was more animal than human.
Joe shivered. “This isn’t what anyone wants to talk about right now, but how are we going to fix this? What’re we going to do?”
Keith slid his arm under Abby’s legs and lifted her up, cradling her against his chest. “Brynn, are you okay here with Joe for a little bit?”
Abby would struggle to be strong as long as she was in the room, so Brynn nodded, barely feeling the movement. Everything was numb. Everything was cold. “I’ll be okay.”
Joe sighed. “I’ll take care of her. Take Abby home.”
They departed in silence, and Brynn stared at the door and waited for tears to come. She thought about Richard, the older brother who’d been more absent father than sibling for much of her life, and waited to cry. What does it say about me that I can’t cry?
Joe swore softly. “Want something to drink? I have whiskey.”
“No.” The word came out low and hoarse, and she swallowed around the painful lump in her throat.
She rose, wrapped her arms around her waist and closed her eyes. “Abby can’t take much more. She’s the strong one…but everyone has limits.”
“Yes, everyone does.” His hands landed on her shoulders again, and he pulled her back against his chest. “Even Abby. Even you.”
“Even me,” she repeated in a whisper. She kept her eyes closed as a shudder claimed her. “You know what I’m going to do.”
“Yeah.” He pressed his lips to her temple. “So does Gavin.”
“Abby won’t support me. Keith might not, either.”
“She might surprise you.” His breath feathered against her cheek. “You won’t know unless you talk to her.”
She fought a shiver. “What about you? Will you support me?”
His hesitation was slight but definite. “Depends on what you need from me, sweetheart.”
She pulled away so she could turn and watch his face. Maybe he could sense her mood with subtle hints and magic, but she had to rely on her eyes. “I still don’t understand how the Guides work. Do I have to pick someone I want to—to be in a relationship with?”
Joe’s eyes hardened. “No, you don’t. You can pick anyone you want, Brynn.” He took a deep breath, and the tightness in his expression eased. “Some Guides won’t get involved. It just depends.”
“Explain it to me?”
He moved them both into a more comfortable position on the sofa. “Keith and Abby are sort of a special case. Usually, the Guide thing is friendly and that’s it. There might be some amount of physical intimacy, but it’s not as involved as you might think. It’s not casual, but it’s not really about the sex, either.
It’s about the control.” He stopped rubbing her shoulder and stared at the wall. “Then there are the ones who become wolves because of relationships they already have. That’s…a whole different story.”
His face looked closed off, tense. She fought a shiver and changed the subject. “Keith said Abby wouldn’t have had many choices when it came to choosing a Guide. Because she’s strong. But he never explained what that meant.” Or if it applies to me.
“She needed someone who could match the power inside her. Everyone does.” His hand slipped into her hair. “You have more choices. There are a lot of men—or women—here who could help you through it.”
“Oh. Well, that’s good.” Except for the part where she was pretty sure the Initiation included a psychic magical connection. Her sister’s attempts to explain why she and Keith could sense each other’s emotions tended to be more confusing than enlightening, but the truth of it was obvious enough. She’d seen Keith judge Abby’s mood from another room before.
Which would make it impossible to keep secrets from her Guide. So asking Joe would be a bad idea.
Unless… “Is the bond thing—the magical psychic part—is that necessary?”
“No.” Some of the tension in him seemed to ease. “It’s recommended, but it’s not necessary. Not usually.”
“So I wouldn’t need to do it?”
“I don’t know. Gavin would know, or Sam. Like I said, it depends on a lot of factors.”
She’d danced around the question enough. Brynn took a breath and met Joe’s eyes. “You’ve done it before, right?”
He looked away. “I’ve done the Guide thing lots of times.”
Something inside her died at the subtle rejection. “But you don’t want to do it now.”
He closed his eyes for a few seconds and sighed. One hand cupped her cheek, the other stroked through her hair, and he opened his eyes and met her gaze. “If you need me, Brynn, I’m here.”
The icy numbness in her limbs thawed, shifted to a tingling warmth as his thumb brushed against her skin. “I—” Bad idea. Bad, bad idea. “I don’t know what I need.”
“Mmm.” He barely seemed to hear her. All of his attention had shifted to her mouth, and he licked his bottom lip and leaned toward her. Just before his lips touched hers, he froze. “Bad idea,” he murmured, echoing her thoughts. “You need someone, Brynn, but not me. Someone better.”
“No, not better. But maybe someone I don’t have wildly inappropriate feelings for at wildly inappropriate times.”
His hand tightened in her hair. “I don’t get involved with the women I guide.” His breath tickled her cheek. “I don’t know if I could do it.”
Her heart pounded, but there was no joy, no trembling anticipation. She could move her lips a few inches to the left and fall into the glorious heat of being kissed by a man who, if instinct served, would steal her breath. It would be a distraction from a world of pain and grief and mind-numbing fear, but it would fade.