“Clothes?”
Aiden walked to the other side of the room and retrieved a tan tote. “Penny didn’t have the key to your apartment so she bought you some things from Digs.” He handed the bag to me and then said, “We’ll wait outside.”
Dorian was still standing by the window but turned and without a word, he and Aiden left the room. For the first time since waking up I was alone and the tension was gone. I sucked in a deep breath, holding it for a moment and then releasing to clear the rest of the fuzz from my brain.
I set the bag on the bed and began to disrobe. Digs was owned by elves, and all of the clothes were organic. The shirt I slipped out of the bag was a beige off-white color with the words Mother Nature loves you in green print with a blooming flower beside it. So long as it covered my body I would wear a garbage bag out of the hospital. Before slipping the shirt over my head, I dug through the bag for a bra and underwear. I found the underwear, no bra. I suppose Penny didn’t know my size. Closing my eyes, I focused on creating one with my magic. When nothing happened, I squeezed my eyes tighter and tried again. Still, a bra did not appear. Damn it, it’s fading already, I thought. Or maybe it’s the stress and I can’t connect with it right now. That was the option I was going with. I’d had my magic at Broomsticks so it couldn’t be gone, not yet.
I finished dressing and looked down at my chest. My ni**les poked against the thin cotton of my shirt. It was unusually cold in the hospital, and even colder outside. Penny hadn’t brought me a jacket, or shoes. I rubbed my chest, hoping the friction would ease the suckers back down.
“Gwen?”
My hands dropped and I turned to see Dorian smirking. “Don’t let me interrupt.”
Heat warmed my cheeks.
“Here.” He shrugged out of his leather coat and walked over to me. I was hyperaware of his presence behind me. With gentle hands he draped the coat around my shoulders, his hands lingering a little too long.
“Thanks,” I breathed, turning to look up at him. I don’t know what made me do it; perhaps it was the gratitude of his rescue or the soft comforting things he whispered in my ear as I lay dying. I reached out to him, my arms embracing his neck as I pressed my body to his. Dorian held himself stiff, as if touching me was torture. I ignored his discomfort and laid my head against his chest, inhaling his scent into my nostrils.
“We should get going,” he said, stepping away from me.
The embarrassment from trying to get my ni**les down wasn’t nearly as bad as the humiliation I felt at this moment. I’d given in to the feelings I had for Dorian, needed to feel the comfort of his arms around me, and he rejected me. I cleared my throat and erased all emotion from my face. It was silly to expect comfort from him. Slipping the tote bag over my shoulder, I walked past Dorian and out into the hall. Aiden was leaning against the wall and looked up at me with an emotion I couldn’t put a name to. Sadness? Anger? A mixture of both? It was gone before I could analyze it further.
I walked over to him, unsure what to say. It seemed both men were acting odd around me, and I couldn’t stand it.
“The sun is coming up,” Aiden stated, standing up straighter. He looked down the hall, then back to me. “I know we’re not together anymore, but I’d like to assign one of my vampires to guard you.”
“Aiden—”
“It’ll give me peace of mind to know someone is watching your back.” Dorian stepped into the hall. “Someone that I trust,” Aiden finished.
Dorian didn’t say anything which I found out of character for him. He just hung back, looking in the opposite direction, arms crossed. When I looked back at Aiden he was almost scowling. What the hell was wrong with them?
“That’d be great,” I told him, afraid to hurt his feelings if I declined. “Thank you, and not just for that…for the blood too.”
Aiden cupped my face, his eyes pained and full of questions he wouldn’t voice. It was tempting to reach out to him and let him hold me like he had done so many other times. Before I could act on my thoughts, he dropped his hands and turned to leave. I watched him walk away while my feet itched to run after him. I stomped down the impulse, knowing that just because I was feeling vulnerable didn’t mean I should forget the reasons why we weren’t together. As painful as it was I allowed those memories replace the good ones.
“Ready?” Dorian asked holding out a pair of white slippers to me. I put them on and together we walked down the hallway and out the front doors. The icy chill of the early morning air stole my breath for a second. We headed down the brick walkway to my Jeep parked along the road. Dorian’s pace was a little faster than mine, which gave me a view of his back. When we reached the car he went around to the driver’s side, unlocked the doors and slipped inside. I didn’t expect men to open doors for me, but I knew he hadn’t intentionally, almost as if a signaling something I wasn’t getting. Swallowing my confusion and pain, I opened the door and slipped inside.
Chapter Five
Heartless black eyes peered into my soul and left an icy chill quaking through my bones. His smirk revealed the pleasure he took from my pain. As he weaved the dagger through the air light caught the edge of the blade as if shining a spotlight on the weapon that would end my life. He was proud of the double edge knife, wielding it with efficient swift hands like some sideshow at a circus. Only I didn’t clap and cheer for his show.
“You think you can kill me before I kill her?” His breath brushed against my cheek, warm and sour as he dug his weapon into my neck. A white-hot searing burn erupted along my throat as he toyed with my life.
My eyes popped open. I was on my side in a ball and my cheeks were wet. Heavy sobs choked me as I tried to put the pieces of reality back together. I was safe in my bedroom, not back at Broomsticks. Not in the arms of the rogue. Flashes of the broken girl I saw in the mirror flitted through my mind. Burying my face in my pillow I screamed, hating that I hadn’t let her go yet. I needed to be strong to get the upper hand on the Veil. That couldn’t happen if she was still hanging out in my subconscious.
Two soft knocks echoed behind my door. “Gwen?” Dorian’s soft voice called. I wiped my eyes and nose, clearing the evidence of my breakdown before he opened the door and stepped inside.
“I heard a scream,” he said. The light from the hallway spilled into the room, highlighting his hair while shadows played along his face.
“I’m fine,” I mumbled. The floorboards squeaked as Dorian stepped further into my room. Sitting up, I hugged my knees and watched him. He walked over to the window, bracing an arm against the wall and looking at the small side yard below.
“What aren’t you telling me?”
Dorian looked back at me, dropping his arm and turning around to lean against the wall. His hair fell forward as he lowered his head to study the floor. I sat quietly, waiting for him to spill it. It could have been five seconds or five minutes before Dorian spoke. I was so anxious to hear what he had to say that time slowed to a crawl.
“I cannot see your death.”
Well, I hadn’t been expecting that. “Since when?”
Dorian pushed off the wall and paced back and forth. His hands fisted at his side and his head was down as he stared at the floor. His brows pulled together sending creases rippling across his forehead.
“I—I don’t know. In order for me to distinguish when someone is going to die, I have to focus on his or her soul. I never checked yours when we first met. It didn’t seem important at the time.” His voice was hard with frustration.
“And now when you try to pinpoint when I will die, you get what? Is your sight just blank, or can you not even sense my soul?” This was not good. Having Death on my side was to my advantage, and now he was as clueless as I was.
“No, I can feel your soul still. Your fate is blocked from me.”
I draped my legs over the edge of the bed and gripped the mattress with both hands. So the reason he was acting so strange was because he didn’t like not knowing when I would die. Not that I wasn’t curious myself. If Dorian could not determine when I would die then that small shred of hope I had been clinging to vanished.
“Do you think Holly cast a spell of some sorts?” I asked. “Something that blocks me from you so you can’t prevent my death?”
“It’s impossible,” Dorian murmured to himself. Looking up at me he said, “She’s just a witch and I am Death. She’s not powerful enough to hinder any of my powers.”
“The spell would be cast on me, not you,” I told him. I stood up and walked over to him, making sure not to touch him. “By erasing me from your sight you wouldn’t get in the way of her killing me.”
Dorian shook his head. “I can break through spells. It wouldn’t be the first time a witch tried to use magic to hide a soul from me. I can see past the magical shields.” Dorian scrubbed a hand over his mouth and chin. “It’s something else. Something I’ve never experienced before.”
I had to admit, it was scary knowing Dorian wouldn’t get a head’s up about my potential demise. I hadn’t realized just how much I was depending on his insight until now. When I first met him I had thought about asking when I would die, but chickened out. Now, I was regretting it. It could be today or fifty years from now. That’s life though; we’re not supposed to know our fates, easier for me to deal with than Dorian. I imagined this was bugging him like crazy.
“So, I will eventually lose my magic and you’re blind to me,” I stated, crossing my arms and shaking my head. “Add it to the list of drama that is my life.” I tried for a smile to lighten the mood, but Dorian was staring at the floor again; his features pulled tight and sharp. As I waited for him to snap out of his zoned out state, I watched how the shadows played along his face. He was such an enigma and it intrigued me. The shiny finish of his sunglasses caught the reflection of what little light penetrated my bedroom and cast a slight glow on his cheeks.